Parents Helping Parents (PHP) is a comprehensive family resource center in Santa Clara, California that has been serving families of children with special needs for over thirty years! In order to meet the needs of the whole family, PHP has offered a variety of sibling support programs and activities throughout the years. I have been very fortunate to serve as PHP’s Sibshop Facilitator for the past five years. While I have several different titles and responsibilities here at PHP (Health Related Services Coordinator, Volunteer Coordinator), I would have to say that my role as Sibshop Facilitator has been the most rewarding part of my job. I grew up with a brother with multiple disabilities, so I know first hand that life for siblings can sometimes be difficult and challenging. I’m so glad that we are able to provide a place for siblings to meet each other, share experiences, hopes and dreams, and most of all – have fun!

I am fortunate to have a wonderful core of volunteers who help me run our workshops which are held every other month, on the second Saturday of the month. The program has grown substantially over the past five years, and it’s exciting to report that we usually have 20 to 25 kids in attendance at each Sibshop! I’m always researching new games to play and introducing new activities to keep things lively, while including their tried and true favorites such as Group Juggling, The Web, and Undercover Leader. In the past, the sibs have enjoyed playing parachute games, Frisbee golf, scavenger hunts, pantomime games and many more. We usually try to incorporate a craft project and also a dessert cooking activity at each Sibshop. Some favorites are Stoplight Cookies made with graham crackers and m&ms, Rocky Road Cups, S’Mores in the microwave, and Chocolate Chow Mien Clusters.

Recently, Parents Helping Parents received a ticket donation from the San Jose Arena Authority (HP Pavilion) for the Sibshop program, and on October 27, 2007, we were able to treat 13 children to the High School Musical on Ice show. The kids were thrilled to dine on pizza and watch the show in a special City Box Suite, just for them! According to one of our sibs, it was “the best night of my life!” I think their smiling faces in the above photo say it all.

I think one of the most important benefits of the group is that the kids have a chance to talk about their daily lives with others who understand and can help problem solve possible solutions for difficult situations. A peer support activity they enjoy is one I call “What do you do when…?” The kids write down real life situations on slips of paper and put them in a hat anonymously. Examples might be (What do you do when) “Your friend does not want to come over to your house because of your brother” or “Your sister always throws a tantrum or makes a scene in a restaurant”. We take turns pulling a slip of paper out of the hat, reading the question, and then talking about our experiences with that situation and ways we might handle it. The child who wrote it can either claim that question or remain anonymous if he or she chooses. This activity is very powerful because it gives the kids an opportunity to express themselves, problem solve, and realize that they are not alone in what they are feeling.

When asked what they like most about Sibshops, the kids report the following:

• “That you get to find kids that you have something in common with. I really like it!”
• “I get to meet kids with the same sibling issues as I have.”
• “I think Sibshops are cool!”
• “I think that it is fun and I get to meet new people that have a special needs brother or sister like me. And I also like that I get to share all of my feelings.”
• “It’s nice to meet kids who have problems with their brothers and sisters and hear how they deal with it.”
• “Because you can express yourself freely with people who know how you feel and are your age.”
• “Because it is so fun and you have a lot of fun!”

Last spring, PHP collaborated with a local YMCA to start a Sibshop program for teens since many of the kids who had been participating in the program were entering their teen years. Instead of planning all the activities for them, I encouraged the teens to develop a list of activities and goals for their own group. They were excited to be a part of the planning process and we’re looking forward incorporating all their ideas into the group meetings. In addition to playing games and having fun, these kids are interested in mentoring the younger sibs, doing community service projects, and planning fundraising activities to raise money for special outings and events. We’re very excited to get this new group off the ground and to find ways to continue to support the siblings at the various stages of their lives.

Leslie Vasquez
Program Coordinator
Parents Helping Parents